Me Time…guilt free!

By Dr. Laurie Betito

"I never expected to feel the guilt of not being able to be there for them at every single moment," Jennifer Lopez confesses. In fact, Lopez lists guilt as the biggest surprise of motherhood.

Me, Me, Me. When you have kids, "Me' is a dirty word. Many mothers (some fathers too!) feel a tremendous amount of guilt when they take time to focus on themselves. Let's look at your typical working mom: She gets up, readies the kids for school, she whips up a quick breakfast for the kids, takes the drive to school, she heads to work for an 8 hour day, picks up the kids, whips up supper, spends some time doing homework, does bath time, book time, bed time and she’s whipped by then. And the next morning, she starts all over again. Factor in bed making, laundry sorting, grocery shopping, errand running and extracurricular activities and you have one busy Mama! Exhausted, "Me Time" seems to be but a wish and a dream. Remember this: No one will give you "Me Time." It must be taken. Someone's employee, someone's wife and someone's mother, your entire life is dedicated to work and family. Don't get me wrong, it's all very noble, but I have seen far too many women who, after years of giving away pieces of themselves, have no clue who THEY are; what they like, what their passions are; they become ungratified with life, disillusioned, bitter. A recent survey of men (Askmen.com) showed that what defines "a real man" in 2010 is "being a great father and husband who takes care of his family.” So, let him!! Roles have changed (gently remind your husbands of that fact) and men want their wives to enjoy an activity outside of the home. Negotiate "Me Time" with your spouse. When a family chore becomes too onerous, ask for help. Invest in yourself and save your sanity. Ask, “What would I do if I had an extra hour a day, or an extra few hours in the week to myself?” Hobbies, museums, working out, friends, a class, reading, or just going for a walk…whatever it is that will give you personal pleasure and ease the stress. A happier you will translate to more patience and peace in the home making your guilt-free "Me Time" everyone's gain.

Dr. Laurie Betito is a Psychologist/Sex Therapist Host of Passion, CJAD 800AM.